Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Lazy Fat Bastards Guide To Weight Loss Prologue

This is the title of an ebook I am hoping to write. Why a title like that, surely it will put people off buying it as it is derogatory and nasty to the potential buyer. So why not lazy fat bitches guide....well if you like it can be that but I had to start somewhere so forgive me if you are female.

Well in my opinion it's the term we often use to describe ourselves in our own minds. You know when you look in the mirror after a weekend of excess in terms of alcohol, chocolate, crisps, pizza and all the supposed bad things we consume from time to time. I have often caught myself, stopped my own stupid brain from telling me I'm a lazy fat bastard even though I know it's not necessarily the case. I run stupid long distances, do Ironman Triathlons, I've started strength training and I eat VERY well for the majority of the time.

So why do we speak to ourselves like this and why do we refer to others in this way.

I blame it on the media and to a certain extent peer pressure. The media cannot make us think something but they sure can have an influence on how we think, act or live. Just look at advertising, we are currently bombarded with messages to buy, to conform, to be a certain way, have a certain look. The media perpetuate this as they are the ones selling that advertising and so they create advertorials around the ad's they are selling.

The fact that in general the writers do not have a clue what they are reporting on only shows their stupidity and opens them to the rightful critisism. Just look at the reporter who interviewed Mo Farah after the Olympics and asked if he ran a little then? However not all reporters or media are bad, take Christopher MacDougall who wrote Born To Run. MacDougall researched this meticulously, ranted he had a vested interest as he was a runner who always got injured but he went deep into the rabbit hole and came up with an amazing book.

We are often critical of ourselves, our minds can influence us and destroy us if we are not in control of the thoughts that occur on a daily basis. Controlling those thoughts is a VERY tough thing but not impossible. These thoughts come from past conditioning from our parents, teachers, peers and enemies. When we are young we are like sponges and absorb most of what is said to us as truth after all we are just kids and what do we know, right!

This conditioning takes many forms, parents tell us we are great when we start to walk and talk, then they tell us to be quiet when we ask too many questions. Teachers praise and ruin with stars and ticks and crosses. Friends can be lovely and also cruel, when you are a kid you say the truth such as "why do you have a funny nose?" not realising the effect this has on the person. Enemies are worse as they can prey on any insecurity and often create those insecurities.

But that was then and this is now.We can choose how we think, we don't have to think of ourselves as fat, lazy, ugly, useless, stupid and all the hundreds of bad thoughts that can plague us at any time and often with no warning. It's been said that it's never to late to have a good childhood, I know from personal experience that that is a tough thing but it starts with letting of the hold the past conditioning has on you, saying FUCK IT to that part of your psyche.

Easier said than done but it has to start somewhere and you might as well start here. Reflect on the things that have held you back. For me I have always had my father's voice constantly telling me how bad I was, what a lazy little shit I was etc. Now I know he didn't mean these things. As a father I have used similar terminology towards my son and regretted it later on. Was this down to my conditioning? probably but was it just a conditioning reaction or did I really mean those things? Did I really think I was going to help him change the things  thought were bad by talking to him like that.

Obviously I thought I was helping, after all that was how my father dealt with me and he had to learn. But it didn't help. It just alienated my son from me in the same way I am alienated from my father.

Damn this blogging is tough as it draws shit out from you that you didn't mean to actually discuss but the typing and thoughts take over.

So I am trying to sort this out with my son, trying to let him know that I don't think he was bad, I was just doing a bad job of being a dad. Yes sometimes he was bad but it was his behaviour that was bad not him as a person. There is a distinction. My son may have got a bad result at school or been home later than he promised but does that make him a bad person? NO it make his behaviour bad and something that can be adjusted, addressed and with his permission changed for the good not just because I demanded it.

So what about the things we say to ourselves. Is this just a habit, just a program that runs in our minds. In most cases I would say yes. Habit is a great thing if it is harnessed and used correctly. Conditioning can be altered and amended. Instead of saying lazy, fat, bastard to yourself accept that your behaviour on this occasion was not what you want and resolve to change it. You may have to constantly resolve to change things and think that it won't work but the mind is wonderful.

You have many years of poor conditioning deep set in your mind and it will take a while to let go and set new conditioning but it's best to start now otherwise you will be a slave to your past lies and no one wants to be a slave, especially to lies.

A great quote is that "no one can insult you without your permission" bit of a fancy way of ending but it's true. No one can make us feel bad about ourselves unless we allow them.

You are not fat, lazy, stupid, a bastard, bitch or any of the other labels, you are just you so it's time to start liking yourself otherwise how the fuck can anyone else like you.

Jesus said "Love others as you love yourself" bit of a problem if you don't love yourself first.

So start loving yourself today and check back for the first day in the Lazy Fat Bastards Guide to Weight Loss.

For more information on changing conditioning check out Tony Robbins free ebook. It's a shorter version of his best seller and is a great read.


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